Re-framing Loss

A few days ago, I posted something on my facebook page about the anniversary of mom's death (today) and how I need to try and re-frame my thinking about it so it's not just a sad day every year. It definitely won't be easy, but I have to try so I don't stay stuck anymore. My boyfriend's birthday is also this week, so I thought calling this his birthday week sounded better. I got several sweet, thoughtful responses to that post that have helped me greatly, and I just wanted to record those here so I can remember them if I'm feeling down, and also hoping that maybe it can help someone else think of new ways to think about sad days. I have always struggled with this, so thank you all from the bottom of my heart for helping me today:

• First there were a few "I love you" messages which always make me feel good :)
  
  
• My friend Allie said she thinks mom sent me P, so that this week would be more joyous than sad, just like her mom sent her a son on her birthday week (she lost her mom to brain cancer also). I had never thought of it that way, and I really like it. Allie, I also think she sent me you. You have been such a gift to me as well.
  
  
• Another message from Allie left me with a new favorite quote, one which perfectly fits both of our losses.  This was her message:
  
• my favorite movie, and my mom's, was Fried Green Tomatoes. And one line always stuck with me, and it's been the one I try and remember when my heart is breaking. "See, now is a time for courage. I guess you already know that there are angels masquerading as people walking around this planet and your mom was the bravest one of those." So true, for your mom and mine.
  
  
• My brother's message was wonderful, thank you bro for this gift:
• i think perspective is everything.. regarding mom, yes, it's the anniversary of felt sadness, and it can also be said to be the anniversary of the recognition of all that she's given you over the course of your life (that continues on whether she's here physically or not)... you get to choose which of these the date represents. they're both true. we as individuals tend to focus on sadness and disappointments, but these emotions are only ever *part* of the actual nature of any event they may be associated with, and our job is to fill in the rest of the facts and see whatever it may be in a truer light... love~
  
  

• My aunt sent me a text this morning saying "let's celebrate a life today. I realized yesterday that my sister and I both raised future nurses. I like that. Lots of love."  What a sweet way to start my morning :), thank you. I think my cousin and I are going to be better nurses for having gone through such a deep loss, and the compassion for others that comes along with that.
  
  
• Today is opening day in major league baseball (seems fitting, now that I think about it), and with St. Louis being our second home, mom LOVED the Cardinals. Before she died, my grandparents took her on a behind the scenes tour of the stadium, and I know that was such a treat for her. My cousin posted this morning about opening day, and said "Today is for Carolyn though, heaven's biggest redbird fan ♥." Love that :-).

So today is for an amazing woman who raised a future nurse, two thoughtful children, loved the Cardinals, sent me a good man, and is still trying to teach me how to celebrate the good things in life. I love you mom. You gave me the greatest gifts today, my angels on earth, and I thank you. I hope you are having some cupcakes up there today to celebrate your enormous contribution to everyone you touched.